Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
