You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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