i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
