Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
