glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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