It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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