PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
