Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We named our party play list daddy issues
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
