its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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