Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
