he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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