I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
