it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
