Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
