Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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