I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
