our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's rum buckets o'clock
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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