i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
