this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
