why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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