Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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