he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
