i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
