And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
as a side note pls kill me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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