i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want a musical about memes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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