it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
