Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
