i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
