is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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