did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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