please come you make the beer taste better
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
