he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
