HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
