i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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