A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we made out on top of his cat.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
