look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
