You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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