PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
