I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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