I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
