you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
