Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
