He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
