he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
