there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
