We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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