Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
