Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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