God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i out mim tonsoeep
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
