and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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